I’ve noticed that a lot of lifestyle design gurus have done a very poor job of teaching you how to live their lifestyles. I thought I would do the community a service and write a primer that teaches you exactly how to fit in and thrive in the lifestyle design community. Enjoy.
1. Get a poofy haircut that only a rockstar could pull off.
Use this to hide your vanity.
2. Get rid of every thing you own, and make up for it by purchasing as much boutique yuppy clothing, shoes, and apparel that you can fit in a large backpack.
(Note Colin’s poofy hair.)
3. Use the backpack full of clothes and move to a foreign country with great beaches where you can feel wealthy by being around desperately poor people.
4. Talk about how many desperately poor people are around and how you wish you could help them.
5. Take advantage of desperately poor people by leveraging your powerful American money against the pitiful local currency.
6. Talk about changing the world for the better, while at the same time flying to every country in the world for the novelty of writing about it, releasing countless tons of C02 in the the environment as a result.
The Spread of Chris Guillebeau’s C02.
7. Take friendly photos with the natives so you can demonstrate how cultured and well adapted you are.
8. Call yourself a “consultant,” even if you’ve never had a client if your life.
9. Buy the laptop of gods (Apple Macbook Pro) and be seen “working” [browsing twitter] on it in trendy coffee shops.
You can have 15 inches for only $1799.
10. Name drop all the famous bloggers who have replied to you on twitter while you were working in coffee shops.
As lifestyle designers age, they begin to look like bald chipmunks.
11. Read the Communist Manifesto or Atlas Shrugged. Write your own manifesto. Quote the Communist Manifesto or Atlas shrugged when talking about what moved you to write your own powerful manifesto.
She sure was a sexy capitalist.
12. Use the words revolution, awesome, freedom, and nonconformity in any sentence it you can fit them in.
And buy a T-shirt with Che on it. Because it’s awesome. Because it’s revolutionary. Oh I give up.
13. Constantly refer to your “projects” even if they don’t exist. If your projects don’t exist, make some up, and find some lifestyle designer friends to “work” on them with you.
A lifestyle design project.
14.Write an about page detailing every single interest you have, ever had, and ever will have. Write a second about page just in case you missed any gaps in your ego, err resume.
15. Make lots and lots of videos. Talking about inane things is okay as long as your hair is sexy and/or poofy or you are at the beach.
I picked this video because of the awesome first image, and the fact that Ferriss just bullshits his way through anything and everything.
16. Be as cool as humanly possible. Take lots of sexy abercrombiesque photos of yourself near the beach or somewhere that could pass as a beach in pictures.
Edit 5/11/11: Cody “How To Be Joyful And Accept Life As It Is” McKibben has decided to pull a very thrilling heroic by requesting that I remove his photo from my post *seven* months after I offered to take it down. Prior to that he said that it was fine and carry on. I guess Mckibben lost his balls and just couldn’t accept life as it is. Anyhow, you can still view the photo (and thousands of other vain photos of Cody) here on his flickr page: http://www.flickr.com/photos/codymckibb/5033919160/in/photostream
Carlos and Colin remain cool.
17. Rip off wealthy white Americans by promising that they too can live on the beach with desperately poor people.
Well, that certainly puts some things into perspective, doesn’t it?
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