That said, every helpful technique (including Core Transformation) can be distorted into its opposite when in the grips of psychopathic tendencies of human beings. Hence vigilance is important.

I read the core transformation bits even though that's well outside of my normal "practices."

Can we love our enemies? I say we can. Why hate? It's just a waste. We're all part and product of the same strange system. Intolerable actions cannot be tolerated. Intolerable people on the other hand … we are totally stuck with.

I think I understand what you are saying and it sounds similar to what I am saying but the semantics are where the similarities end.

Your way sounds complicated. My way is simple…cease all spiritual and self improvement practices as a start. That is a lot simplier than what I think you are saying.

It may sound like a fine distinction, but it isn't, it is an enormous one. I will repeat again, when we try to fix or change something in us we are separating ourselves from our "OKness" which is the very thing that we are the trying to achieve with the practice. It is a radical idea, I understand that, and it is very difficult for the ego mind to understand. The ego-mind is the "doer" and when you let go of seeking there is nothing for the ego to do. Therefore it is not necessary for the ego to exist. Likewise all the complicated "thinking" becomes unnesessary.

To be OK in this moment, no thinking is necessary. I don't even need to know my name. If I am not OK then tremendously complicated thinking is necessary to figure out what the hell is wrong and how can I fix it.

When ever you are "doing" something to fix yourself, that is seeking. Like I said this is a radical concept and it doesn't sell. The more arduous you make a practice, the more it sells. If I told people that they had to wake up at dawn and meditate for 3 hours every day to be happy, they love that. But to tell them to do "nothing" that is not attractive. Because it leaves their ego with nothing to do. The ego, or the "doer" is the source of unhappiness. It contains within it all the stories of pain and lacking. It is the "I". Your story of who you think you are. So when you don't do any practices, you don't get to engage your "you".

I am not advocating that anyone stop seeking, but it has been great for me and I am happy to get this infomation out there. If this is the way for someone, they will come to it eventually. And like you said some practices might help toward that end.

So the difference between what you and I are saying, Duff, is that you are saying that you can "do" something to "cultivate OKness". I am saying that if you "do" anything to cultvate it, your "OKness" goes down the toilet in that moment. And if you believe that you need to "do" something, than you have an underlying established belief that you are not OK as you are. And that can only be experienced and realized, not explained. I didn't find it that hard, so if anyone out there is interested, give it a shot and let us know what happens. As you can see, you don't need a teacher, a therapist and it is free.

I do think "the path" is about cultivating states, but only the states of Being which are meta-states to the primary emotions/affect. You could say instead that it is about cultivating a different relationship to experience, one that is more clear, precise, compassionate, and equanimous. I think this perspective is the same as yours, told in a different way. It also recognizes that there is nothing to get or ultimately achieve, yet by practicing being with our experience without reacting, clearly observing what is happening with compassion, we can be at peace with what's happening.

But again, it's just words. You are clearly practicing cultivating OKness by my observation, but to give you the instruction "cultivate OKness" would trigger seeking mind, so instead you prefer the opposite instruction "don't cultivate anything" which is to say cultivate OKness in different words, based on a different logical level of experience. Same thing.

For example, see this excellent summary from Shinzen Young on "What is Mindfulness?"
http://www.shinzen.org/Retreat%20Reading/What%20i...

Shinzen Young by contrast does $20 "at-home retreats" (that have scholarships available too!). http://www.basicmindfulness.org/ I'm not saying he's perfect, or that there aren't alternative formulations of spiritual practice that are legit, but if you watch a video of him and compare to Byron Katie, I think it's obvious that he's not on the same kind of guru trip:
http://www.youtube.com/user/expandcontract

My take on the instant realization/gradual realization is that yes, OKness and states of Being are available at any moment, as close as your own breath. Yet they also take time to cultivate as a way of being, for we tend to find them and then lose them, over and over again. Being and Becoming or Being and Time exist together inseperably. Tolle's "story" is that he woke up to Being one day and that was that. I think this is an equally romantic story that keeps people locked into the guru circuit, the dream that "one day I will just totally wake up and never forget my OKness/Being." I think this is basically bull, even in Tolle's case, for he had a long period where he was totally non-functional and could basically only sit on a park bench. This is not recommended for most people who have families and jobs, etc., who if they "woke up" this way would be committed to a mental ward for catatonia (and I think some mental patients are in fact experiencing things like this that they don't know how to integrate…and the psychiatric staff doesn't know either).

That's all well and good but it is extremely destructive to the student. Byron Katie (among others) for example says over and over that she hasn't gotten angry once for over 20 years. The people around her beg to differ. She describes her "incredibly fantastic" state in detail and says that if you do "The Work" long enough you can reside in the same state. Nobody ever has so the "carrot" remains in front of their nose which keeps them doing The Work and forking over money to her.

Having said that, I agree with you that it is possible that my having done The Work and other practices for many years may have contributed to my instant ability to fall into "OKness" when I ceased all practices and seeking. That is not to say that it is impossible to discover your "OKness" without having to go through all that effort and austerity. I believe it is, but I had to take the long route.

"I do think we can train or cultivate states of being to the point where they are so frequent it is as-if they are continuous–but if we really check, it's just that other states now occur very infrequently".

My take on this is that it is not about "cultivating states". That is the big fallacy — the big carrot (wonderful state) that will forever remain in front of your nose with you chasing it because you can't achieve it, and you will judge yourself for it continue to do what you believe is the answer — more practices. The more we chase, the more we try to fix, the more we seek, the more impossible it is for us to see that we already have what we have been looking for.

My "OKness" does not judge the states I am in. It is all-inclusive and that is the power of it. "Cultivating" it is the antithesis of it and will garantee that I don't feel "OK".

Personally I don't think there's any state that one can feel all the time, including non-seeking or OKness. But at the same time, I do think we can train or cultivate states of being to the point where they are so frequent it is as-if they are continuous–but if we really check, it's just that other states are infrequent. Or at least that's my experience.

A different way of constructing your story could be that all those practices *did* work in that they lead to non-seeking or OKness, a deeper level of complexity than changing things at more gross levels (e.g. trying to cultivate positive affect). Most people I know that are into non-seeking/Neo-Advaita disregard the large number of practices, many years of meditation, etc. as inconsequential and a mistake, that the truth of Being is always accessible and requires no practice or time (instant realization). Other traditions like Theravada Buddhism emphasize these things as earlier stages in a predictable path, that progression and practice in a disciplined way eventually get you to a place beyond discipline and practice.

Half empty or half full, either way there is 500ml of water in a half-filled 1 liter bottle.

I don't know that much about Tony Parsons….never read a book, just visited his website, but what really I like about his approach is that he says that "liberation" can only be realized when ALL seeking is stopped. That really resonates with me. It has been a really powerful practice to stop all seeking and it has brought me deep levels of peace. It is because seeking assumes a problem and when you stop you can see everything you already have within you and that you are completely whole and complete — you always have been but you just didn't realize it. You feel "OK" (in my case to a level I had not experienced since very early childhood).

I know this is not a new idea….you could probably tell me more about that.

Good point about the serenity prayer. That's why I mentioned enlightenment maybe a scam. If it is impossible to achieve those states in a sustained way by those methods (meditation for example) then that would be very good to know. Then it would fall into the catagory of "I can't get that from that" so why bother trying.

It depends on what your goal is. My goal is to feel "ok" with myself all the time and to feel free and happy. Ceasing ALL seeking has very, very much helped with all that.

And by the way I have tryed a lot of practices in the past but I won't bore you with the details. None really worked, and the cumulative effect seemed to have screwed me up more. I have myself back now through "not seeking" and I am grateful for that.

My lady is more of a formless gal herself–we debate this same sort of thing back and forth all the time!

I've found that this process in particular does in fact transform anger, and makes me more tolerant of anger in myself and others.

Your critique is good, but honestly, it doesn't apply to me!