As a child, I would frequently bounce my leg, tap on any flat surface, rock back and forth, or otherwise move and shake. While this was a useful way of calming and soothing myself (aka “stimming” as it’s called by those who study Autism Spectrum Disorders, or “nervous twitches” as I usually referred to them), it had the unfortunate consequence of annoying other people and giving me unwanted attention in the form of shaming and public humiliation.
At first I wasn’t even aware that I was engaged in such unconscious behaviors, so I often denied other people’s observations and accusations. When I became aware, I frequently felt embarrassed and resolved to stop such behaviors, but many times couldn’t because I wasn’t aware I was doing it and so I didn’t know how to stop.
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Many personal development gurus posit that you can and should have it all, that every area of your life can be perfected without any need for compromise. Consider this quotation from personal development guru